I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
