he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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