The best revenge is premature balding
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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