where does the pee come out of this thing
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
