I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
