A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
