I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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