woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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