I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
