i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
