i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
