ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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