I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I didn't notice because vodka
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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