big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
stop calling my apartment porn island.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
