It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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