Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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