I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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