I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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