Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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