just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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