I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
