Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
