The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
