i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
