Me. At least after what I've been through.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
