I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
