dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
