you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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