"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
