people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
