the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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