I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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