I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
