I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
