He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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