Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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