No stitches, just platelets and will power
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
