He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
the raccoons are back...
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