i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
