i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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