Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
