My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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