We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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