So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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