she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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