Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
