i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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