I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
