Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
