I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no you cant smoke seaweed
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
