pedialite and red bull = repair kit
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
