I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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