You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
