Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize