So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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