I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
