Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
