i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
