good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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