i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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