Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
