you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
