Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
false alarm, still single
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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